Unhurried Child

Last week while I was waiting for a doctors appointment I picked up a magazine called Wonder Time.  I can’t remember the last time I read a parenting magazine.  I stumbled across an article called The Unhurried Child.  For many years I lived by the philosophy that was presented in the article.  But as my kids grew and were involved in more and more activities, and then there was one more kid….well things became a little hurried.  Bedtimes are always the worst.  Hurry up and brush your teeth, hurry up and take a shower, hurry up and get your pj’s on.  Then in the morning, hurry up and eat your breakfast, find your shoes, find your backpack, etc.

So I’m reading this article and it’s like a wake up call.  Especially when I came to this part

I picture a recent bedtime. Ben scoots along the floor, tummy down, toward his pajamas, announcing, “I’m a prowling crocodile!” I have no imagination left on this particular evening, so I don’t say, “Let’s pretend those pajamas are your prey!” or even “Scary!” What I say is: “I’m setting the alarm for 15 minutes. When it goes off, that’s when I turn the lights out, whether or not we’ve read our chapter yet.” It’s a miserable idea. Yes, he gets ready lickety-split, but the cost is too high: I see his hands shaking while he pulls his pajama top on, the worried knit of his eyebrows when he scuttles into bed. It’s one thing, of course, when you’re late for work or school or your flu shot, and you really do need to prod the little slowpokes into action. The world can’t always wait just because your children would prefer to lie on Coat Mountain rather than put on their jackets. But this? This is another thing; it’s just bedtime. 

Wow.  That could be our house on any given night.  But it wasn’t always this way.  We used to live a slower paced life.  There was a time when there was no rush.

I have been thinking about this a lot lately.  A couple days ago the workers cut our power so Cole and I sat out front and looked for bugs.  We found a snail that was so small, tiny really.  He named him Gary after the snail on Spongebob.  Then when the snail went back in his shell we decided that he was taking a nap.  Cole thought it would be a good idea to sing some songs to try to wake him up.  We tried his favorite, “hey hey you you I don’t like your girlfriend” but it didn’t work.  We then tried some Green Day and out popped the little snail.  We then decided to rename him Billie Joe (after the lead singer of Green Day).  But in the end Cole decided that his name should be Anakin.  We built him a little house out of sticks, found him some rolly polly friends and a few ants as well.  We had a great time.  I had a great time.

Today we had lunch together prior to his first full day of preschool.  We were pressed for time and just as I was about to tell him to eat faster when the mom behind me started rattling off a bunch of commands to her son, “eat faster or we will leave right now, wipe your mouth, don’t talk so loud (although everyone in the place could easily hear HER), sit still, are you listening to me??  And it just kept going.  Cole and I sat in silence, listening to them and then he looked at me and said, “do I need to eat faster??”  I smiled at him and said, “take all the time you need buddy.”

Because being late for preschool really isn’t the end of the world.