Cray

As in crazy. Sometimes I feel like I am on just this side of Cray.

This tiny dump of a house is starting to get to me.

This yucky weather is starting to get to me.

Planning the new house is starting to get to me.

And in light of what just happened in Boston I feel stupid complaining. But I think it just brought my sadness to the surface.

I wanted to move back to Ohio. I wanted it for my kids, and for myself as well.

But I feel like I left a big chunk of my heart in North Carolina.

I know it wasn’t the right time for us to be there.

And as I prepare to head back down to meet the movers in Chapel Hill I feel like an emotional mess.

Such conflicting feelings.

I know if our house here was more livable things would feel so much better. But it’s such a long ways off.

It’s hard being a grown-up. And trying to make the best decisions. For everyone.

Baby steps.