Moody Butt

If you have been a long time blog reader you all know by now that I am somewhat of a moody butt. I mean aren’t we all at times? I just put it out there for all the world to see.

At any rate, this year I have surprised even myself with my lack of happiness. I have not been unhappy, just not happy. Obviously the stress of everything we have done this past year has been a huge part of it. The constant worry if we are doing the right thing moving, and then moving back.

And while there are those of us that miss North Carolina big time we are all in complete agreement that it was the right thing to come back. For the smile on Blake’s face alone. Life has an easiness here that it didn’t have there.

But I think that was my problem. I expected to fall right into that easiness. I was so looking forward to that simple life feeling that came with summers on Riley Avenue.

Moving back has been stressful. And not just the obvious part of living in a house that is a total dump, trying to plan the new house, dealing with workers coming and going and meetings with the contractor and architect. Getting everyone settled back into routines and sports and dealing with a girlie that hates change and loves routine and has had to adjust to several homes…. lets just say it has been a bit chaotic. She acts out, and I have not been handling it well.

Eva thrives on routine and attention. I of course just wanted a break after being isolated and alone for the past year in Chapel Hill. These two things just did not add up to anything good.

When some negative words were thrown out about her in public I realized it was time to regroup.

Because I am her biggest advocate. And sometimes I have to learn things the hard way.

There is always a little good to come out of a negative experience and nothing made me happier than to see a brother stand up for his little sister.

And I realized what I needed to do. Instead of trying to escape our rundown yucky house, it was time to embrace the fact that we have a roof over our heads (at least for now- we are gonna remove it soon!!). It’s time to bring it back around to the thing that is most important to me. My family.

All the graduation parties this past weekend made me realize we have three more years left with Austin at home. Three short years.

It’s all a little overwhelming.

So I’m bringing it back in. Refocusing on the things that are most important to me.

Because I don’t want to miss this very special time in our lives by wishing the time away for when our house is done and our lives get back to “normal”. It took me a while to realize I was “checking out”.

And now I am checking back in.

And that my friends makes me happy.