Chaos

I started this post a few days ago and finished it today- it did not snow today, it was an amazing fall day….

edited to add this post was written over a couple days with pics thrown in. It was a post about my kids getting older and things changing. It’s about them, not me, well me in dealing with them changing and their friends changing and me wishing things could be like they used to be. Until I realize that now is ok too. It’s just different, new challenges but also some new easiness. Just wanted to throw that out there because when I reread it I realized it could come across different.

As much as we were all thrilled when we woke up to snow this morning that we were in a house with heat, there is no doubt an adjustment period going on as everyone tries to figure out their place in our new digs.

My kids can no longer walk to school (the middle school and elementary for our rental our different than where my kids go). So there is a lot of running. Austin bought a parking pass for high school so that will help.

But we are still very close which is for sure a blessing.

The kids have been fighting like crazy, well the younger three. I can’t figure out why. I guess it’s the different routines. I would have thought they would be happy for a normal house.

It’s frustrating.

But it’s also ok. Because lately I have been feeling the reality that my kids are growing so fast. That the 4 sandwiches on my cutting board will only be 3 in 2.5 years. It makes that nightly chore a little more bearable. I’m missing my older boys being young. And I don’t mean baby young, I just mean younger. Like maybe 5th or 6th grade. Not 8th and 10th. Because 8th and 10th is just different. Not bad. I love that they are somewhat self sufficient and that one of them can drive. Austin has always been the oldest so I think of him as the oldest but Blake who’s baby fat melted away quickly in the last year and half and he became a huge 6 ft 1″ 14 year old has really been hard to take. Cole is at the stage I think of when I think of Blake. Quickly they are all shifting up.

I guess my problem with the whole thing is I am not one that likes a quiet house. I mean I complain and get mad and yell when they are all fighting and being annoying but when it’s quiet…it’s torture. I hate it.

And then my plans for a friends Halloween party got side tracked- I was going to be Kim Kardashian- a realty theme tv party.

But a late afternoon call from Cole’s school and a trip to the ER with a concussion diagnosis… well we ended up staying home.

I was ok with it. My baby comes first.

But I am sad that we couldn’t have our pumpkin carving party this year.

And now I am so looking forward to next year. It’s weird that things can change so much in a few years. You can’t hold on to the past.

But you know what? Today I am feeling that’s not such a bad thing.