We had to pick a spot that would not be damaged by construction or construction trucks.

It’s only small area by one of the trees but I like to look at it.

And of course we spend a lot of time in this part of the yard

This is what I get when I ask to take a picture

And then I pull out the “Im not pushing until I get one picture”

And then I quickly snap

Another Super Games is in the books

It was kinda warm and sticky

But no one seemed to care

The girls kept beating the boys in tug-o-war

Eva was so excited to be there

I didn’t get many pics- Eva just wanted to play

She didn’t want to do the tall bouncy slides alone

When all the kids went in for lunch she had the place to herself

We wrapped it up with a snowcone and walked back home where she fell asleep for her nap right away!

But the thing is that it is never exactly the same. Lots of things are the same, but not everything.

Obviously the house is not the same. My kids keep telling me they want their old house back. Even though we are now on the street we always wanted to live on. Right now I want our old house back too. But long term…. well I want the house we are designing and about to build, on the 2 acre lot we now own.

But that doesn’t make it easy.

And while I smiled tonight when I took Cole and his best bud to lacrosse- passing their elementary school where lots of people were hard at work for the awesome day they will have tomorrow (a day they would never have in Chapel Hill)- see past supergame days here, here and here, I can’t help but think how things are different now.

Don’t get me wrong, everyone fell right back into old friendships just like we never left.

But when we moved I felt like my kids were still little. And now I feel like I moved back with different kids than what I left with. If that makes sense. They are bigger, older, just different. And sometimes I feel it in the pit of my stomach. Like I missed a year of their life. Which of course is crazy. I didn’t, we just spent it in a different place.

But to bring them back to the place they were born and raised, it just feels weird. Like we are new here. Trying to settle in.

I know it doesn’t make sense. And I know when we get our house done I will feel like we are making a home. Feel more settled.

But for now I feel like a visitor. A newbie. Trying to find my place.

In a place I am very familiar with but still out of sorts

We play in an unfamiliar backyard that still doesn’t feel like ours

And start all over again

And it is all going straight into our 3 car garage for storage for the next 6 months.

I am already tired of living this way- the idea that we get 6 more months is a tad overwhelming

Did I mention we are going to try to live in the basement when all the remodeling is going on?

The benefit of staying put instead of moving into yet another temp house is that we can of course save money, keep the kids within walking distance of everything, still have a huge yard for dogs, etc. Both one of the biggest is keeping Eva in the same surroundings. She does not like change. We have seen the effects of her living in 4 different houses in one year. It’s not pretty.

Heading back to NC was an emotional journey. But when we got back to Ohio I knew we were where we belonged. At least for now.

The trip down was long and loud- with 4 kids. Finally I climbed into the back to sit by Eva and my friend Nic took the wheel

We got in around midnight- and walked out on the porch to look at the big moon over the water

Every time I go to Holden I love it more

She wore her self out.

We did manicures

My beach house was still there- still looking good

We went to a small festival in town. The little kids loved it.

We did a little shopping

Ate dinner on the water

But mostly just hung out

And listened to thunder and rain

And then came home to lots of green and sunny skies. She helps me haul the recycling and trash down to the street.

The basement made progress while we gone. Now it is almost done but here are some in progress pics

I can’t tell you how much I love these doors.

The best bathroom in the house now is in the basement!

Good views on my morning walk

Eva’s birthday present came while we were gone. This thing has been getting lots of use

Boys have airsoft wars in the bakyard- see the two blurs running in the back? And don’t worry, Eva wasn’t back there.

Truck is pulling in- off to meet the movers.

I know it was for the best- but I also know our North Carolina story is not over.

How it will all play out- who knows. I just know the Carolina Girl in me feels a strong pull towards that state. It just wasn’t the right time- or the right city.

Anyway as I pack to head south with the two youngers I can’t help but feel bad about leaving the older two. But honestly I think all three boys are looking forward to a quiet week, male bonding, no drama.

In fact I know they are. 2 out of 3 admitted it.

Cheers to their quiet week- And my
crazy week being on the road with the dos Ioco niños

Yesterday Eva turned four. And we all sat around scratching our heads trying to figure out if we miscounted. Really? Four??

She had the best day. So happy. Her grandparents came to visit, friends came to visit, she opened gifts….

She used to tell everyone when she was two that she was really four.

Now she says she is six

Happy Birthday Baby Girl!

So Eva wanted to lay a blanket down in the backyard and have a picnic

We invited a couple dogs

And a brother

The brother wanted to do homework and the sister wanted to wrestle

She kept doing things to get his attention. Like grabbing his paper and licking it. Gross.

She thought that was SO funny.

The dogs were being crazy

I think it’s pretty safe to say that Zo doesn’t like Eva as much as Eva likes Zo

Snapshot of a Thursday afternoon

This tiny dump of a house is starting to get to me.

This yucky weather is starting to get to me.

Planning the new house is starting to get to me.

And in light of what just happened in Boston I feel stupid complaining. But I think it just brought my sadness to the surface.

I wanted to move back to Ohio. I wanted it for my kids, and for myself as well.

But I feel like I left a big chunk of my heart in North Carolina.

I know it wasn’t the right time for us to be there.

And as I prepare to head back down to meet the movers in Chapel Hill I feel like an emotional mess.

Such conflicting feelings.

I know if our house here was more livable things would feel so much better. But it’s such a long ways off.

It’s hard being a grown-up. And trying to make the best decisions. For everyone.

Baby steps.

It’s been a long time coming. Spring that is.

Cole is sneezing and my eyes are itching like crazy. But I will take it to have some warm temps!

The girls both got cameras for Christmas and want to learn more. They also like to pose. We are going to have to work on the props they chose….

Love this one

Photo bomb

Sam has a stylish camera strap sleeve on her camera….

The best days are when the kids are totally filthy by bedtime

They are all getting too big too fast

It involves lots of potty talk to get her to laugh- her fave thing to talk about lately

But I still get the eyerolls

And then Coley comes home

We spend a lot of time on this swing

And this is how we all feel at the end of the day

We are about to head south, for which I am very very grateful- although it is cold down there too.

So let’s change the subject. Yesterday I photographed my friends house as she is about to put it on the market and start another big project like me. I thought I would share. Her house is gorg!

These stairs lead to a fun little bedroom tucked up in the eaves. It is so stinkin cute.

The living room.

It has the best kitchen

The family room

The front

The back

The dining

bedroom

Sitting room

Bathroom

basement

Ok I could post a ton more but the kids are hungry and fighting. If you want to see more go here.

Happy Spring Break!!!!!!

A few days later we had two offers on it, with a third that was backup. Which was also a bittersweet day. Believe me I want to sell that house, and get started on this one here in Ohio. But it’s never easy to close a door.

Now that we are not in North Carolina the pressure to do NC beaches is off and we can go back to our fave beach. And I can’t wait. It’s been two years since we went there.

We are hoping a lot gets knocked out on our basement while we are gone. It’s framed and ready for walls. Bathroom is plumbed, our boiler system has been ripped out. Which means that only two living spaces have heat. We have been using space heaters to stay warm.

It has been so cold. Poor Blake was wet and miserable when he got home at 8pm last night from lacrosse. And covered with mud. And then Eva couldn’t get her jeans off in time and peed on the bathroom floor. And then when I was reading her books for bed a neighbor stopped by to drop off yummy treats and Blake sat right by the door and didn’t answer it. Finally Austin went to answer it with Cole dancing around in his undies. It was the same neighbor that helped Blake and Eva at the park the other day when she ran into a fence and busted her head and was bleeding everywhere (I was at the store). I have not met her yet. She must think my children have no parents. Andy is in NYC.

We are ready for a break! And some warm sunny skies.

This is what my baby looked like the first time we went to Watersound. Time flies

A weekend of warm temps was just what we needed around here. Look who is smiling again.

Blake and Cole both had lacrosse, and then it was play time.

Andy bought a basketball hoop for the driveway, we got the trampoline out, and he hung Eva’s horse tire swing from one of our really high tree branches.

I could not be inside at all yesterday. It just seemed like such a waste.

Eva supervised her daddy trying to figure out which branch was best for the swing.

We have these huge irrigation things around our yard. They make good seats.

I did not tell her to pose like that

The older boys took off to do some street luging again.

The benefit of living on a street that is wide that doesn’t get much traffic

Street luging involves a rubbermaid bin, duct taped to pallet thing with wheels. You start at the top of the hill and race down. They even taped flashlights to the side. Padded up with lacrosse helmet, pads, gloves….

Looks fun, no?

The girlie hates it when they leave. So we have to cheer her up.

And this brother stayed behind to play with her. She loves him.

Most of the time.

I miss my house. I’m not going to lie. Moving into this small house has tested me. The mouse that greeted me in the utensil drawer this morning didn’t help. I screamed and then quickly shut the drawer before the kids could see. And after I got the kids off to school I let myself shed a few tears. Because even though I wanted to come back to Ohio, a part of me wanted to stay. And I miss my house, and maybe just a little stressed out.

So after helping my friend pick out lights for her house that she is about to put on the market, Eva and I drove around gathering ideas for our small rancheroo.

Tell me what you think.

We came home and made cookies. That makes everything better.

Making this move has not been easy. I didn’t expect it would be.

And I know a lot of people think we are nuts.

We know we are. That’s ok.

And I miss North Carolina. And that’s ok too.

We are where we need to be. Of that I am 100% certain.

Ohio is underrated. And I love that.

And as we get ready to put our big house in Chapel Hill on the market and settle more into our small little house in Ohio I can’t help but think about life choices. And doing what you think is best. For everyone.

It’s not easy. It’s not supposed to be. That would be boring.

The sun was shining bright today so Eva and I walked up the street to meet Cole. Who ended up feeling a bit better and went in to school for the 2nd part of the day.

Halfway up the street Eva stopped to rest on a big rock by one of my fave houses on our street

Although I love this one too

When I said we had the smallest house on the street I wasn’t kidding- some have their own bridges

When I took Cole into school today I ran into so many familiar faces- all welcoming us back. With open arms. Midwest people are the best.

Our little house is getting more homey. And someday it will be exactly what we want. I am finding that I am patient with the process. At least for today. I miss what we had in Chapel Hill but I am content with what we need here in Ohio.

A couple months ago Andy and I were making dinner and I said, “I feel like North Carolina is my state, kinda like Texas is yours, but Ohio- it’s our family’s state.”

And here we are.

Like I said, a few of the houses on our street have their own little bridges

And I tell her that it says “no trespassing”. Oh and that’s Cole in the blue coat. Complaining that he almost barfed at recess from running so much and coughing.

And of course she opens the gate and goes in anyway. Because she is Eva, and rules don’t apply to her….

The couch has become a big bed. And the coughing never stops

I can barely get them to eat anything

I kept thinking I was fighting it off. But I didnt get so lucky.

So that is all I have for this sunny but chilly morning.

I took this picture of a guy demo-ing my basement through the window because I didn’t want to go outside and be obvious about it.

Good times.

And today it’s more of this

I try not to look at the weather in Chapel Hill (60 and sunny). The view is actually quite pretty from the couch- but when Blake walked in at 7pm last night from lacrosse he was FROZEN. And it’s hell week. Which is what the coaches and players call conditioning week.

He sat down next to Austin and I and was soooo chatty. We looked at each other and said, “who is this kid?” Oh yeah, the one thats been missing for the last year. Dude is happy to be home.

Princess Shiloh

I walked down to the park with the kids- it was funny watching Cole trying to figure out where we were- we used to walk to the same park from the other direction when we lived here last time.

They grabbed sticks and made up stories and were amazed that they can walk in the middle of the street.

Our house is pure 1950 thru and thru. Which is great if you like that sort of thing. I don’t. But since it’s all going to get gutted I have to be patient and live with what’s here. That means scrubbing everything. Like this light. So gross. Don’t smoke people.

Austin walked thru the house looking for a place to hang his pull-up bar- there is no trim around the windows and doors in the house. So Andy nailed a 2×4 above a door so Austin could hang his bar. SMH.

But with all the smallness and coziness and lack of bathrooms and hot water and heat, the kids said last night that they love our little house. They like it better than the big fancy one we left behind in NC.

So there you go.

And then the sickies hit

And I’m going a little crazy

But it’s almost Friday. That’s good.

Chapel Hill house supposed to go on the market in a week or two. Anyone want to buy a house?

Right after we closed I walked thru it and I felt the tears burning the back of my eyes. Right about then one of my friends showed up and helped me pull up my big girl panties and get busy scrubbing, ripping out carpet, ripping off wallpaper, and scrubbing some more.

I can’t even begin to explain how gross the house was. Gross.

My mom called me a few nights after I got here and said, “why aren’t you returning my texts?? Why haven’t you called?” I could barely string words together I was so tired. And overwhelmed. I drove up here last Wednesday with 4 kids and one dog pulling a small U-haul trailer with our clothes and other small items by myself. There was rain most of the way, fog so thick I couldn’t see, and then a snow storm when we finally hit Ohio. By the time Andy showed up the following Monday I was ready to to cry, call it quits, find a new house…. you name it. But the day he arrived we had sorta turned a corner. My friends and I had ripped out all of the disgusting carpet (probably 50′s original and former owner was a smoker) and pulled up all the tack strips. Some bloody fingers resulting. We had the carpet replaced in the rooms that didn’t have hardwood floors (a temporary solution until we blow this house apart). Slowly it was starting to look like a house we could actually fix.

And the details are this

We found a house on our favorite street in our old hood. It’s almost 2 acres. It’s a small 3 bedroom brick ranch. And the previous owner raised 6 kids here. One of them a Buckeye football player. It is the smallest, probably ugliest house on the street. But it’s a box- and we saw potential.

We are living like we are camping. With minimum belongings. We left most of our stuff in Chapel Hill to stage the house there- which is isn’t even on the market yet. So it’s….. interesting.

But the kids are thrilled. They are happy to be home. And after the initial shock of our new house wore off they climbed on board. Saw the vision.

We have so much help from family and friends.

We plan to add a 2nd story and bump out the back of this house. And move walls, and do the basement. The boys are begging to do the basement first. They have no place to hang out. Unfortunately our hands are pretty much tied until we sell our other house. Which could take a long time. So we are all practicing patience.

I haven’t really taken any pictures- I will get on that soon.

Austin’s going away card from friends in Chapel Hill

Cole too

We crossed into Ohio and it started snowing like crazy

We headed a friends house where Cole turned into “Thor”

Eva was happy to have her other Mama’s back

A friend of a friend was moving and selling her riding lawn mower for cheap so we snatched it up. I thought Blake was going to pee his pants when my friend started riding it down the street.

Austin’s friends started helping right away. This is just a glimpse at how the house looks…

But I started feeling better when the orange and green carpet was gone. And some windows got covered

when it got dark we turned off the lights and told ghost stories for the kids

And finally- my Shiloh girl loves the front window and checking out her front yard. She loves to watch the snow fall.

I will give better updates soon but this is my first time to even turn on my computer in over a week. I am having a hard time returning emails and texts- its just a bit chaotic with getting the kids signed up for school, sports, finding clothes, buying warm clothes- nobody has a jacket that will fit…. you get the idea. To top if off the house is old. And small. So everything we brought is still in the garage. Baby steps.

And I know a lot of my long time blog lurkers/followers are gonna say “huh? why??” North Carolina seems like the perfect place for you.

And it is. I love it here. Love.

But I don’t love my life here right now.

And even though things were not perfect, we were not looking to move back. In fact it had not even crossed our minds.

But then a job came up out of the blue and we just decided (spur of the moment really) to see where it went.

We were 100% trying to make our new life here work.

But when things moved along with this new opportunity we realized that it’s been a year here. And when we sat down and were totally honest with ourselves it was hard to imagine staying put.

It’s not just the boys. Austin (who we thought would be the hardest with moving) loves it here. Wants to go to college here, has made great friends here. But he also wants his old life back, Worthington is the best place to be a kid. There is nothing better than small town living. Blake’s bags are packed. He is Ohio through and through. Cole is back and forth. But he’s our social butterfly. And easy.

It’s not the weather. Ok, I just had to throw that in. Weather in Chapel Hill rocks. I LOVE the weather here. Well I take that back. I don’t love summer. I love summer in Ohio. I like to have dinner outside every night during the summer. I don’t like ginormous spiders and copperhead snakes in the grass. Summer evening in NC are not that fun. It’s hot, it’s humid, and mosquitoes bite like crazy.

So, what is it?

1. The schools. This is just an issue I can’t fix. I miss our neighborhood schools. I think they provide such a unique way to grow up. Nothing compares. It just doesn’t.

2. The Farm. We miss the farm. We miss going to the farm but we also miss living close to my parents so I can tag along with Andy on business trips and know our kids are well cared for. Plus knowing if we need back-up they are there. And we are there for them. They want to retire there on the farm, and we want to make sure that happens.

3. My business. We had an amazing holiday season and year and honestly I don’t know what I would have done if it weren’t for Aimee. She held it together. I fully expected her to quit after Christmas. Running my biz out of two states is not working. And I want to keep my business. I so miss my creative outlet and being much more involved.

4. Our village. I think if we had not lived in Worthington we wouldn’t miss it so much. It’s not perfect. But the things that worked for us, worked really well. And honestly I have never lived anywhere that had so many people that had grown up there, and then moved back to raise their own kids. I think that says something.

5. When Andy and I had kids I made him promise we would settle when the kids started school. When he finished his MBA most of his graduating class were fast tracking to careers that involved lots of consulting, lots of travel. We agreed that was not for us. Regardless of that big paycheck that offered. I grew up a military brat and moved a lot. I wanted my kids to graduate from high school with the kids they went to kindergarten with. I LOVED the idea of that. SO many jobs came around that we ignored over the years because we wanted to stay put. There was really only a few places we were willing to consider. And when Chapel Hill came up it was just too hard not to give it a go. And honestly my heart is still here, partially. But a bigger chunk of my heart is in Ohio. A place that wasn’t where I was from, it wasn’t where Andy was from… but it’s where we are from together. It’s where are kids are from. And that’s huge.

And so that is where we are at. With the opportunity to give our kids back the life they had, the life they loved, and for Andy to keep moving forward with his career, and for me to keep my business running. To say that it is bittersweet is an understatement. But I can’t deny that I miss my friends fiercely. And life is just too short.

I have nothing but great things to say about Chapel Hill, about North Carolina, and the people I have met here (besides the one in the previous post). I will miss it big time. And my dream is for at least some of my kids to go to college here and our North Carolina connection will continue.

Here is an example.

When we first moved to Chapel Hill I was invited to go on a two day “spa” trip at a nearby resort. We lined up a babysitter to come during the day for Eva and off I went. I only knew one of the ladies before the trip. The other three I had never met. Before the trip, my friend warned me about one of the ladies- that she was a bit “abrasive and rough around the edges.”

It quickly became apparent as we drove out of town which one she was talking about. She was loud, every other word was profanity, and she hated everything about Chapel Hill (she had moved here from out of state a few years back). She also made it clear pretty early on that she was not thrilled about me as well. She had a son in the same grade and same school as Austin. She talked a lot about what a stellar kid her son was, athlete, great grades, etc.

I was fine, I only had to put up with her at dinners and such. But as the trip wore on and her behavior got more and more offensive and annoying, I could only laugh that I spent a lot of money on such a crappy trip.

I went home and told my family about it. And I should add that this was a pretty vulnerable time for our family. We were in the process of selling our house in Ohio and buying the house here. We were living in the townhouse. We were desperate for our new life to unfold. To say I was disappointed in the people I had met was an understatement.

Fast forward a month or so and I get a call from the friend that I knew from that trip. She said that “Dawn” (not her real name) wanted to call me. She was mad. Apparently Austin had told one of his friends on the lacrosse team that I didn’t like her. My friend asked if she could give her my phone number. I said no, but asked for her phone number. I wanted to call her on my own terms.

So I did. I apologized. But admitted that I was rubbed the wrong way by things she said and her behavior. She told me she didn’t like me. I told her I knew that, she had made it clear. She said I should inform my son not to go to school and blab things that were said at the dinner table. I agreed. I told her that I had already addressed that matter. But in the end I felt that it was ok that she didn’t like me, and that I didn’t like her. That was life.

I thought that would be the end of it. But then she said, “I think your son needs to watch his back at school. Bob (not her sons real name) was really mad that he said you didn’t like me. There have been fights over things like this.” I sat there for a minute, looking out my back doors thinking, “is this for real? She is threatening my son because I said I didn’t like her?”

I took a deep breath and said, “do I need to call the school? Is that what you are telling me? You know Bob will get suspended if he goes after Austin.”

She replied, “Bob has a good head on his shoulders, I don’t think he would do anything stupid. I’m just warning you about your kid. He needs to be careful.”

I talked to Austin again. Told him about her threat. He laughed. And said, “you know I didn’t even say you didn’t like her. I said you didn’t have a good time”

He wasn’t worried. I tried not to be.

In the end nothing came of it. But it taught me a lesson about people. And certainly about sharing things within earshot of my kids.

And next time before I dish out cash for a “relaxing” spa weekend I am going to check the invite list. Twice.