Yesterday we were walking around Seaside looking at stuff and this woman (young, with a little girl and husband) stopped us asked if she could take Eva’s picture. “She is just the most beautiful baby I have ever seen.”
Andy was carrying her in her carseat so we said sure- let her snap a few.
Recently Andy and I were talking about how we are tired of everyone (including us) introducing Eva as our “adopted” daughter. We just want her to be our daughter.
But when people stop us and tell us how cute she is, I never know what to say. “Thanks” doesn’t seem right, after all I am not responsible for her dna. Although I did pick out that stinkin’ cute dress 🙂
I love to talk about adoption and encourage others to think about it too, but I don’t want that pressure on Eva. Sure she has no idea what we are saying now, but soon she will. I don’t think she would like to hear, “isn’t she cute? We adopted her” every time someone makes a comment. In some families adoption is obvious. And that opens the door for a lot of discussion, good and bad. But Eva looks like Andy. I don’t think people assume she is adopted. That makes things a bit more tricky.
So, I am still thinking about the best way to handle this and set a good example for the boys.
In the meantime this seems to be her reaction.
All of my children came out of my body, but I still feel funny sometimes saying thanks when someone comments on their cuteness. Sometimes, i just say, ‘we think so too!’. Eva is your beautiful baby- and you should say whatever you darn well please- including introducing her simply as ‘your daughter’. Keep up the good work!
I am adopted and I am of mixed race and my mom and dad and sis and bros. are white so it was pretty obvious. No need for any “we need to talk to you about something” talks. lol But yes, you should introduce her as “your daughter” bc she is right? Even though my parents are white and I’m not their biological daughter I never knew anyone else but them as my parents. The same for my brothers and sisters. I look at them as my real parents,the ones who raised me from birth. But I see where you are coming from. She is so stinkin cute in the little dress.
My babes are not adopted and when people comment about their cuteness factor I always say “we think so too” or “not at four in the morning”. I was not adopted but I grew up in a divorced family. My stepmother (in every sense) would introduce me as such, stepdaughter and I always felt like I did not belong with her, even though I have been since I was five. My Dad (stepfather) would always introduce me as his daughter, plain and simple. I always felt comfortable and never questioned it even though my Dad was so involved in my life. In fact, both Dads walked me down the aisle. Although not the same, you are giving your daughter a beautiful life and she will always know, if you do, that she is your daughter!! p.s. she is too stinkin’ cute and no comment necessary!!
My two cents… my kids are adopted from Korea, so it’s pretty obvious when we’re out and about. I think the answer for you is just a simple “Thanks! We think so too.” The comment we get – and continue to get after 8 years – is “Are they brother and sister?” My answer to that one is yes. I know the asker wants to know if they are related by blood, but I just don’t get into it. Let them think what they want to think. You’re right – soon enough those little ones hear and understand everything, and I don’t want my kids to think I qualify their relationship. And yes, Eva is adorable! Take the credit – you’re the ones up with her in the middle of the night!
I agree with everyone else — she is your adorable daughter and while you are not responsible for her DNA. . . you are why she is so happy and content and loved. No qualifier needed!
It’s funny you posted this…I’ve had similar thoughts lately. With Avery it’s out there for everyone to know (not that it’s a secret – just that most people want to know the why’s and how’s -and sometimes it’s too much.) She’s ours. Eva’s yours. LOVE the pictures!! 🙂
When someone remarks that she is cute, you just say “We love her”. Or you could say that she IS cute and so is her aunt.
She just keeps getting CUTER and CUTER!!!
Seriously want to snack on that belly.
Come home soon!!
While you are not responsible for her dna, you and Andy are the ones that are making her a beautiful baby, young girl, and the young lady.
She is your daughter and you are the ones that will help to make her truly beautiful.
She is such a blessed baby to be in a family that loves her so much, and treats her as the treasure she is- and picks out the cutest dresses!