{"id":4010,"date":"2010-09-09T06:38:16","date_gmt":"2010-09-09T11:38:16","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.elisalou.com\/blog\/?p=4010"},"modified":"2025-04-30T13:13:32","modified_gmt":"2025-04-30T17:13:32","slug":"adoption","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.elisalou.com\/blog\/2010\/09\/09\/adoption\/","title":{"rendered":"Adoption"},"content":{"rendered":"

Today I picked up a new book at the library called Beachcombers by Nancy Thayer.
\nIt’s a fiction book about a few sisters reconnecting on the island of Nantucket.<\/p>\n

I started reading the first page while I was waiting for Blake at guitar lessons and a paragraph jumped out at me. It was a quote that the mom had told the girls when they were young. I read it, and then read it again.<\/p>\n

It said<\/p>\n

The universe is always speaking to us. Sending us little messages, causing coincidences and serendipities, reminding us to stop, to look around, to believe in something else, something more<\/em>. You have to be willing to step away from what we consider normal life. You have to have imagination. <\/strong> <\/p>\n

I thought about that for a while. And what came to mind was Eva. And how I just knew she was out there, by stopping and listening to the messages being sent to me. The twists and turns that brought her to our family….it’s all just so weird to think about. But I am so glad that I listened. The other night Andy and I talked about how I had to convince him that we had a daughter out there, and then when the first match fell through, he had to convince me that Eva was actually the one for us. Such a crazy time, and now I can’t imagine our family without her.<\/p>\n

So speaking of Eva<\/p>\n

Today walking home from school with Cole, Eva walking amidst the big kids, one of the neighborhood kids leaned over to another neighborhood kid and said, “she’s not from here.” UGH. <\/p>\n

I don’t know why comments like this hurt my feelings- she meant no harm by it. And I certainly get it from adults all the time, “where is she from?” To which I reply “here”… but I guess I just got a glimpse of Eva’s future, will she always be the outsider? The one “not from here?” <\/p>\n

Quite honestly I thought we were past that, the whole, “this is Eva, she’s adopted”. But kids are kids, and they all adore her, I know that’s not it. But I also know that sometimes kids aren’t nice, and at some point she will most likely face mean kids.<\/p>\n

It makes me understand why when people adopt transracially they often adopt more than one, so the child has someone “like them”. <\/p>\n

I don’t think that Eva sticks out in our family, Blake is just as dark as she is- however I must admit that it may just not be enough to spare her the hurtful things that may be said to her in the future.<\/p>\n

And that’s enough to make this Mama Bear’s claws come out.<\/p>\n

Moving on <\/p>\n

This girl is cute even with banana on her face<\/p>\n

\"IMG_5132\"<\/a> <\/p>\n

Even when she tries to hide her banana in the door<\/p>\n

\"IMG_5136\"<\/a> <\/p>\n

\"IMG_5138\"<\/a> <\/p>\n

Even when she gets in the drawer and gets stuck<\/p>\n

\"IMG_5155\"<\/a> <\/p>\n

\"IMG_5158\"<\/a> <\/p>\n

Love her fiercely.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Today I picked up a new book at the library called Beachcombers by Nancy Thayer. It’s a fiction book about a few sisters reconnecting on the island of Nantucket. I started reading the first page while I was waiting for Blake at guitar lessons and a paragraph jumped out at me. It was a quote that the mom had told the girls when they were young. I read it, and then read it again. It said The universe is always speaking to us. Sending us little messages, causing coincidences and serendipities, reminding us to stop, to look around, to believe in something else, something more. You have to be willing to step away from what we consider normal life. You have to have imagination. I thought about that for a while. And what came to mind was Eva. And how I just knew she was out there, by stopping and listening to the messages being sent to me. The twists and turns that brought her to our family….it’s all just so weird to think about. But I am so glad that I listened. The other night Andy and I talked about how I had to convince him that we had a daughter out there, and then when the first match fell through, he had to convince me that Eva was actually the one for us. Such a crazy time, and now I can’t imagine our family without her. So speaking of Eva Today walking home from school with Cole, Eva walking amidst the big kids, one of the neighborhood kids leaned over to another neighborhood kid and said, “she’s not from here.” UGH. I don’t know why comments like this hurt my feelings- she meant no harm by it. And I certainly get it from adults all the time, “where is she from?” To which I reply “here”… but I guess I just got a glimpse of Eva’s future, will she always be the outsider? The one “not from here?” Quite honestly I thought we were past that, the whole, “this is Eva, she’s adopted”. But kids are kids, and they all adore her, I know that’s not it. But I also know that sometimes kids aren’t nice, and at some point she will most likely face mean kids. It makes me understand why when people adopt transracially they often adopt more than one, so the child has someone “like them”. I don’t think that Eva sticks out in our family, Blake is just as dark as she is- however I must admit that it may just not be enough to spare her the hurtful things that may be said to her in the future. And that’s enough to make this Mama Bear’s claws come out. Moving on This girl is cute even with banana on her face Even when she tries to hide her banana in the door Even when she gets in the drawer and gets stuck Love her fiercely.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[8],"tags":[665],"class_list":["post-4010","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-family","tag-transracial-adoption"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.elisalou.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4010","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.elisalou.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.elisalou.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.elisalou.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.elisalou.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4010"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.elisalou.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4010\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":21179,"href":"https:\/\/www.elisalou.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4010\/revisions\/21179"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.elisalou.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4010"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.elisalou.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4010"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.elisalou.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4010"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}