To do better

Yesterday, well the day before really, I realized that it is time to do better. I have let things slide over the last few months. With the excuse that I needed to cut myself some slack. We were moving out of state, living in temp living, living without 90% of our stuff…. etc etc. You know, a ton of excuses.

Tuesdays and Thursday quickly became fast food nights for the kids because Austin had lacrosse games and Blake had lacrosse practice and the whole family was running until 7:45 or so when Blake got done.

There were lots of fast food lunches and breakfasts on weekends too. You know, because the kitchen was too small for us to cook for a bunch, etc etc.

I started to notice that my energy level was way down. I was feeling like crap. Too much letting everything slide. Too much trying to just get it all done. Of trying to make our new life. Of trying to get settled and everyone happy. Too much of not enjoying things.

I have decided it is time to get back into my groove. I want to cook more and be more healthy. I want walks to the park after dinner. I want to get back into the groove of the life I love.

I want to enjoy my kids more, instead of just rushing them from here to there. Completing this task and that and mentally checking them off the “get done today” list.

Last night Austin had a bad game, and he was grumpy. There have been only two games that he didn’t score a goal. Last night was one. His lacrosse strings were broken. He was trying to fix it, I was trying to figure out dinner, it was late. We were arguing.

But then I just started laughing. And even though he was down, he did too. Sometimes it is that simple. We don’t HAVE to be in a bad mood. We don’t HAVE to see everything as a chore to get through. We can CHOSE to make it better.

I was tired of being stressed out. It was time to turn the bus around.

Today before he left for school Cole got one his bloody noses. He always gets them in one nostril when his allergies are acting up. Long ago the dr. told us to swab it with vaseline to keep it moist and that trick has worked over the years. I looked through the pantry with that slow dread, the one that I have felt for the past few months when I realize that the thing I am looking for and really need, is packed away. But it wasn’t. There it sat on the shelf, a simple jar of vaseline with the q-tips not far away.

And I had this sense of calm come over me. Things were where they were supposed to be. And slowly the weight of the past, well almost 6 months, is slowly being lifted. And it feels good. It feels like home.

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And when I hand my phone to Eva at a lacrosse game I always get it back with a ton of self portraits.

I always find a million self portraits on my phone...

Don’t you love the booger in her nose?

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She kept climbing the fence, she really wanted to get out there on the field.

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The lady behind her had a little dog. Eva would not leave her alone about the dog. There were a lot of pics of the dog on my phone too. I will spare you those.

But I do need to show you the cuteness sitting beside me in her super cute pj’s- big post on her coming up tomorrow.

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elisa

1 COMMENT

  1. Hannah | 17th Apr 12

    I’m glad you are letting the stress go. I get sick of stress. Ever since Greg’s pay reduction I’m stressed all the time. There is just a weight on my shoulders that never goes away. It sucks.

    I’m glad things are slowly getting back to normal. Even in stressed times we have so much to be thankful for and so much joy to be found.

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